Who Am I?

I'm at the beach.

Burying my ass in the sand.

And it's everywhere.

I love it here.

It's not quiet but it's peaceful.

And we all know I need more peace.

My life has been chaotic.

painful.

lonely.
exhausting.

stressful.

I've been angry and confused.

Hurt and rejected.

Beaten down to the point of shrinking back.

I have let everyone else tell me who I am.

Or who I'm not.

And I've believed them.

Well I started a book today.

Tailor Made by Alex Seeley

It's about identity.

So here I am.

At the beach.

Tired of the last five months.

 I'm not sure I was ready until now.

To put all the words spoken over me to rest.

To change how I view myself and others.

But it's time.

I asked God.

Who am I?

I listed everything that's been said by others.

You...

are annoying

are too loud

talk too much

need more compassion

are intimidating

are a piece of shit

I listed other things I've believed.

You...

are an accident

are unwanted

are unseen

are second best

And then He counteracted.

Your words are precious and powerful.

You have a tender heart.

You are strong.

You are courageous.

You are a leader and an influencer.

You are a light.

You are no accident.

I created you for such a time as this.

I want you.

I love you.

I will be faithful to you.

And it's the last three that are overwhelming.

That's all I've ever wanted.